I'm pretty sure my return ticket was for yesterday.
I'd have to check and make sure, but I wasn't planning on using it anyway. The next time I'm planning on being state side is in September for a visit home and to be a bridesmaid.
It's just strange to think about the future, I have no more preconceived ideas about what it holds for me nor do I have many plans in place besides who I want to spend my time with (loved ones, duh). I hope the future is kind, I have no choice but to follow her.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Just say No
I'm wondering if everyone feels the same guilt at saying 'no' as I do. I've gotten to the point where I Can say 'no' to doing something I don't want to do or don't have the time to do. But for hours and sometimes the rest of the day going into the next day I'll feel just horrible about refusing to go to some meeting or go on an outing or something random. It doesn't really matter who or what I say 'no' to, I feel just as bad. (unless I say no to my mother, then I feel worse).
For example, today Justin called me around 10am to invite me to a meeting at 11am on base. The meeting was for potluck planning for the next two weeks for an army exercise. I'm a little vague on what they do at this army thing, but I know that everyone is supposed to bring food to work for an all week potluck.
That's great and all, and I'm glad Justin has food and I Would like to contribute, but there are a couple of factors. One, I don't really know how to cook much beyond a few dinner time standards, and those aren't terribly good. Two, we just moved into our place and even if I did cook something I felt like inflicting on others we have nothing to put said food in that Justin can take to work. Three, Justin has to walk like 2 miles to work carrying whatever food we bring, everyone else in his office has cars. I'm not going to make him carry all his work gear and food for 2 miles. four, the meeting was like an hour from the time Justin called and while I really wanted to go to see Justin I wasn't ready to walk out the door and it takes 15-30 minutes to walk to wherever they're meeting on base. So I said no.
and then felt guilty for at least an hour until I calmed myself down enough to try and get over that feeling. That's what sugar is for, right?
For example, today Justin called me around 10am to invite me to a meeting at 11am on base. The meeting was for potluck planning for the next two weeks for an army exercise. I'm a little vague on what they do at this army thing, but I know that everyone is supposed to bring food to work for an all week potluck.
That's great and all, and I'm glad Justin has food and I Would like to contribute, but there are a couple of factors. One, I don't really know how to cook much beyond a few dinner time standards, and those aren't terribly good. Two, we just moved into our place and even if I did cook something I felt like inflicting on others we have nothing to put said food in that Justin can take to work. Three, Justin has to walk like 2 miles to work carrying whatever food we bring, everyone else in his office has cars. I'm not going to make him carry all his work gear and food for 2 miles. four, the meeting was like an hour from the time Justin called and while I really wanted to go to see Justin I wasn't ready to walk out the door and it takes 15-30 minutes to walk to wherever they're meeting on base. So I said no.
and then felt guilty for at least an hour until I calmed myself down enough to try and get over that feeling. That's what sugar is for, right?
Americatown and dealing with Korea
We live only two blocks away from the main strip called the foreign district or Iteawon. It's shockingly quiet at the apartment considering our location. But we noticed something as we were walking to dinner the other night:
we live in Chinatown, if Chinatown was for Americans in another country.
Koreans come to the foreign district to shop and eat at places that have "American" style food, or also food from different parts of Europe. And all the stores are mid to high priced American brands like Nike, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein, etc. So if you've ever wondered what Chinatown feels like to a Chinese person, I can tell you. It's not recognizable as home at all. I didn't realize that Iteawon was trying to be American until Justin pointed it out. Now the Burger King, Outback Steak House, Baskin Robbins and Starbucks make sense.
We love our apartment. But there are a few things we're still figuring out. The floor heating is literally heated water moving in pipes under the floor boards and the heat comes up through the floor, there are no air vents or grates in the floor. It's really great, but it takes a few hours for a temperature change to register, so if you're cold now, it's gonna be a while. At least if it's too hot we can open the windows. On the plus side there's no such thing as a cold winter floor (if you do it right).
To go around some of the electrical issues, we just bought a Korean 220v toaster and microwave. They're pretty easy to use, they just have numbers. So at least nothing in the kitchen is going to blow up. Except maybe the leaking dishwasher.
The tap water tastes a little like sulphur, Justin says he doesn't notice, but we have those giant plastic water bottles delivered for our water cooler so it's okay.
Also Justin explained why it smells so, so bad outside occasionally, they don't have S pipes for the sewers so the smell comes up especially in the city.
In the apartment there is one whole bedroom we don't have anything in, we just keep that door closed. It was a little weird at first, but honestly, I forget it's there most of the time. It's such an opposite problem from what I usually have, too much space.
The whole confusing trash thing is basically the same as California (garbage, recycling, and bio/food waste) but you have to use special bags that are about the size of an American grocery store bag and we haven't found out where to buy them yet... My friend Ceci drove me to base with huge black trash bags full of our trash and boxes from all our new stuff. I felt like such an American stereotype.
This past Saturday night we had to fill my rolling suitcase and walk to base to do laundry in his barracks. The washer and dryer are Korean (the landlord didn't want to move them out, so we couldn't get American ones from the army) but we're pretty sure the dryer is broken. It's an electric condensing dryer so it works differently, but after four runs and it's inability to dry one damp kitchen towel, we're positive it's not us. At least we got our clothes and sheets washed on base though.
That may sound like a lot of things going wrong, but I really don't notice them much. Justin and I have never really had our own place together until now, and it's such an exciting thing to talk to him Not on a computer. So, I'm enjoying the adventure and I'm enjoying being with Justin. I just wish I could wash my clothes and throw things away without thinking too hard.
also, good news the Army exchanged our little love seat for a real three seater sofa! yay! small victories.
we live in Chinatown, if Chinatown was for Americans in another country.
Koreans come to the foreign district to shop and eat at places that have "American" style food, or also food from different parts of Europe. And all the stores are mid to high priced American brands like Nike, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein, etc. So if you've ever wondered what Chinatown feels like to a Chinese person, I can tell you. It's not recognizable as home at all. I didn't realize that Iteawon was trying to be American until Justin pointed it out. Now the Burger King, Outback Steak House, Baskin Robbins and Starbucks make sense.
We love our apartment. But there are a few things we're still figuring out. The floor heating is literally heated water moving in pipes under the floor boards and the heat comes up through the floor, there are no air vents or grates in the floor. It's really great, but it takes a few hours for a temperature change to register, so if you're cold now, it's gonna be a while. At least if it's too hot we can open the windows. On the plus side there's no such thing as a cold winter floor (if you do it right).
To go around some of the electrical issues, we just bought a Korean 220v toaster and microwave. They're pretty easy to use, they just have numbers. So at least nothing in the kitchen is going to blow up. Except maybe the leaking dishwasher.
The tap water tastes a little like sulphur, Justin says he doesn't notice, but we have those giant plastic water bottles delivered for our water cooler so it's okay.
Also Justin explained why it smells so, so bad outside occasionally, they don't have S pipes for the sewers so the smell comes up especially in the city.
In the apartment there is one whole bedroom we don't have anything in, we just keep that door closed. It was a little weird at first, but honestly, I forget it's there most of the time. It's such an opposite problem from what I usually have, too much space.
The whole confusing trash thing is basically the same as California (garbage, recycling, and bio/food waste) but you have to use special bags that are about the size of an American grocery store bag and we haven't found out where to buy them yet... My friend Ceci drove me to base with huge black trash bags full of our trash and boxes from all our new stuff. I felt like such an American stereotype.
This past Saturday night we had to fill my rolling suitcase and walk to base to do laundry in his barracks. The washer and dryer are Korean (the landlord didn't want to move them out, so we couldn't get American ones from the army) but we're pretty sure the dryer is broken. It's an electric condensing dryer so it works differently, but after four runs and it's inability to dry one damp kitchen towel, we're positive it's not us. At least we got our clothes and sheets washed on base though.
That may sound like a lot of things going wrong, but I really don't notice them much. Justin and I have never really had our own place together until now, and it's such an exciting thing to talk to him Not on a computer. So, I'm enjoying the adventure and I'm enjoying being with Justin. I just wish I could wash my clothes and throw things away without thinking too hard.
also, good news the Army exchanged our little love seat for a real three seater sofa! yay! small victories.
Everest
For someone who always wanted to be a writer and a world traveler I'm surprisingly in the middle of both of those goals.
I still have other goals, like to have the best trained (and cutest) dog in the world, and to play the guitar like my favorite band The Gypsy Kings, or to cook as awesomely as Alton Brown, and to be in super fabulous shape so I can climb mount Everest... although I'm not so keen on that last mountain climbing goal anymore, I like having all my fingers and toes.
My point is when you're young and realize that you won't always be a child and living at home and going to school, you think of what you want to do when you're older. You want to do something that makes you happy everyday. You want to do something that other people think is worth something. You want to contribute something to the world so maybe, decades from now you'll be in some kind of history book.
Children's dreams are a little grand, but the main thing is they want their future self to be awesome and happy.
I feel a little bit like I'm letting my past self down. True, I'm done with school (for the time being) and my past self hated school (hated, hated school) so that would make her happy. But I lack the feeling that I'm some kind of proper adult. I still eat too much candy, I put off doing things like cleaning the kitchen to read, I don't wake up on time in the morning (granted I don't really have something to be up for, but still). I just don't really feel like an adult.
I have friends that seem to be adults, they have important jobs and career paths, they live on their own and can cook and and and, I don't know, maybe they feel lost sometimes too. Maybe they wish they had free time like I do (I think I'd rather be busy, at least a little).
So if I'm trying to be a writer currently, and I'm living abroad and have traveled, and have a cute and well trained cat (who is currently living in the states with my parents), why don't I feel like I've got some of those life goals in hand?
I feel like I'd be happier if I could somehow let those expectations for myself go, but that's not who I am and I guess I'm always going to expect more from me.
I still have other goals, like to have the best trained (and cutest) dog in the world, and to play the guitar like my favorite band The Gypsy Kings, or to cook as awesomely as Alton Brown, and to be in super fabulous shape so I can climb mount Everest... although I'm not so keen on that last mountain climbing goal anymore, I like having all my fingers and toes.
My point is when you're young and realize that you won't always be a child and living at home and going to school, you think of what you want to do when you're older. You want to do something that makes you happy everyday. You want to do something that other people think is worth something. You want to contribute something to the world so maybe, decades from now you'll be in some kind of history book.
Children's dreams are a little grand, but the main thing is they want their future self to be awesome and happy.
I feel a little bit like I'm letting my past self down. True, I'm done with school (for the time being) and my past self hated school (hated, hated school) so that would make her happy. But I lack the feeling that I'm some kind of proper adult. I still eat too much candy, I put off doing things like cleaning the kitchen to read, I don't wake up on time in the morning (granted I don't really have something to be up for, but still). I just don't really feel like an adult.
I have friends that seem to be adults, they have important jobs and career paths, they live on their own and can cook and and and, I don't know, maybe they feel lost sometimes too. Maybe they wish they had free time like I do (I think I'd rather be busy, at least a little).
So if I'm trying to be a writer currently, and I'm living abroad and have traveled, and have a cute and well trained cat (who is currently living in the states with my parents), why don't I feel like I've got some of those life goals in hand?
I feel like I'd be happier if I could somehow let those expectations for myself go, but that's not who I am and I guess I'm always going to expect more from me.
Friday, February 18, 2011
I don't count as a person
according to the army, I don't count as a person. when we were signing our lease and getting all the paper work done for Justin to live off base we were informed that he was UNaccompanied (b/c we chose non command sponsorship and I wasn't on any of his original orders). Besides being slightly insulted this wouldn't have mattered at all except it affects what furniture they gave to us. We have a full sized bed, a love seat, a small square kitchen table with two chairs, a desk and one chest of drawers. And a three bedroom apartment.
So let me back up, before I rant Too much let me just say, I love our place. It's probably one of the nicest places I've lived. Picture us in a large city, like New York... we have a three bedroom, two bathroom apartment with a small backyard and meticulously trimmed trees (each look like three bulb sitting on top of the other). We also have quick access (two street stair cases) to get to the main strip BUT without any traffic noise at all. The apartment itself is really nice too, probably one of the nicest I've seen anywhere in Asia. We love it. We love living in it. and we love living together.
So, we have a slightly larger than we need apartment. And too small furniture. That isn't so bad. The frustrating part was when we went to wash our new dishes. The dishwasher leaked. okay, fine, not such a problem. The landlord will look at it when they get back from Honk Kong. We go to wash our new sheets and towels. The first wash load didn't even dispense the soap, so it didn't wash. The second load we put the soap directly into the machine, they was you would in America. I'm waiting to that load to finish... And the dryer...it's apparently some kind of condensed heat dryer so it takes less energy but it takes longer to dry, okay fine... four cycles later our towels are still very damp.
At this point I'm frustrated, I didn't sleep too well in our rather small bed on our new sheets we didn't have a chance to wash with our too small comforter because all they had at the PX that wasn't zebra print was king sized. So I go to throw away the boxes that are empty from our new kitchen things. But I remember, oh wait, you can't just throw something away. No, you have to sort it and cram it into this tiny bag no bigger than a regular grocery bag. So I sort, and I rip up boxes and I finally get the recyclables into their bag (which is a little bigger thank goodness). The only reason I'm worried (besides the environment, but really, I think the earth will be okay if I throw away my banana peel with my dirty kleenex) is that they fine you like $50 a bag if you do it wrong. And I can't read the freaking directions on the bag so I have no idea. Our realtor said that a lot of G.I.s just put all their trash into those huge black garbage bags and carry their trash to base where you can just throw everything away in a giant dumpster. I miss America, but I am Not that American.
I've unpacked, and I really don't have much here. I have plenty of room on my closet bar and the built in drawers aren't over flowing. We haven't finished moving all of Justin's things over to our place yet. And we have a few more things to buy (and return, the cookie sheet we got, while standard size in the the US doesn't fit in the over here. At all. Not one way and not the other.I can't even make a dozen cookies).
This will be a very different kind of year, the city setting fooled me for a while into thinking I could get everything I needed or was used to. I won't really be lacking anything, but it will be a bit more challenging to get regular things done; like doing laundry or throwing trash away.
So let me back up, before I rant Too much let me just say, I love our place. It's probably one of the nicest places I've lived. Picture us in a large city, like New York... we have a three bedroom, two bathroom apartment with a small backyard and meticulously trimmed trees (each look like three bulb sitting on top of the other). We also have quick access (two street stair cases) to get to the main strip BUT without any traffic noise at all. The apartment itself is really nice too, probably one of the nicest I've seen anywhere in Asia. We love it. We love living in it. and we love living together.
So, we have a slightly larger than we need apartment. And too small furniture. That isn't so bad. The frustrating part was when we went to wash our new dishes. The dishwasher leaked. okay, fine, not such a problem. The landlord will look at it when they get back from Honk Kong. We go to wash our new sheets and towels. The first wash load didn't even dispense the soap, so it didn't wash. The second load we put the soap directly into the machine, they was you would in America. I'm waiting to that load to finish... And the dryer...it's apparently some kind of condensed heat dryer so it takes less energy but it takes longer to dry, okay fine... four cycles later our towels are still very damp.
At this point I'm frustrated, I didn't sleep too well in our rather small bed on our new sheets we didn't have a chance to wash with our too small comforter because all they had at the PX that wasn't zebra print was king sized. So I go to throw away the boxes that are empty from our new kitchen things. But I remember, oh wait, you can't just throw something away. No, you have to sort it and cram it into this tiny bag no bigger than a regular grocery bag. So I sort, and I rip up boxes and I finally get the recyclables into their bag (which is a little bigger thank goodness). The only reason I'm worried (besides the environment, but really, I think the earth will be okay if I throw away my banana peel with my dirty kleenex) is that they fine you like $50 a bag if you do it wrong. And I can't read the freaking directions on the bag so I have no idea. Our realtor said that a lot of G.I.s just put all their trash into those huge black garbage bags and carry their trash to base where you can just throw everything away in a giant dumpster. I miss America, but I am Not that American.
I've unpacked, and I really don't have much here. I have plenty of room on my closet bar and the built in drawers aren't over flowing. We haven't finished moving all of Justin's things over to our place yet. And we have a few more things to buy (and return, the cookie sheet we got, while standard size in the the US doesn't fit in the over here. At all. Not one way and not the other.I can't even make a dozen cookies).
This will be a very different kind of year, the city setting fooled me for a while into thinking I could get everything I needed or was used to. I won't really be lacking anything, but it will be a bit more challenging to get regular things done; like doing laundry or throwing trash away.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Brian Jacques
"It's Jakes, rhymes with Cakes" Mr. Brian Jacques told me the first time I met him. I was probably 14, about to go to High school and I loved Redwall. I wanted to be a mouse and live there in the Abby... much more than go to school where I felt like I failed at everything.
In truth I wasn't a bad student, maybe bad at math, but when you're that age and shy everything seems like you could have done it better. That was one of the reasons I loved to read. Reading took me away from who and where I was. I was rescued by books, shaped by the stories in them, and with one in hand I never felt alone. That is also one of the reasons I wanted to write, I feel it's my duty to give back to the world that saved me. To write books that in turn reach out and rescue someone else who won't bloom for a few more years, someone who feels alone and someone who is more than they seem.
One of the other reasons I love Brian Jacques, besides his writing, is that he also did so many other things before he was published that it makes my strange resume look coherent. After finishing school at age 15 he became a merchant seaman, then he worked as a railway fireman, a longshoreman, a long-distance truck driver, a bus driver, a boxer, a bobby (Police Constable 216D), a postmaster, and a stand-up comic. He first met the blind children who inspired his first stories when he delivered milk to their school as a truck driver. He began to spend time with the children, and eventually began to write stories for them.
He also shares my love of mice as the noblest of creatures. I have most of his books, all of the Redwall novels and I fully intend to round up my collection. His work is timeless and it stays with me even though it has been years and years since I last read his work.
(15 June 1939- 5 February 2011)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Jiggety-Jig
To market, to market, to buy a fat pig,
Home again, home again, jiggety-jig.
To market, to market, to buy a fat hog,
Home again, home again, jiggety-jog.
To market, to market, to buy a plum bun,
Home again, home again, market is done.
We have started the task of (at least window) shopping for all the things we'll need to have in our new place. We still need to find a place, and once we do we'll have all the main things like furniture and appliances from the army. But the other things, mostly bedding, towels, plates and pots & pans we have to get ourselves.
It's going to be kind of fun, but I for one, have to be careful not to go overboard on nesting in a place we're only going to be for a year. So that means getting only what we really need. And thinking of what we have at home at the same time.
The task is made a little more complicated by the fact that Justin and I also have a sense of style that might not be met by the limited army post shopping... to town? Maybe, but anywhere we go is sure to over charge us since we're Americans and made of money.
I wold turn to online shopping, but so many places don't deliver to APO addresses. So my plan of ordering online, having it sent to my parents and having them send the stuff to me here is in place. But, at that point we've paid probably twice what our dishes, or whatever, are worth and it seem silly not to just use what's nearby.
Silly problem, I know. But it's one that I think about in between what to eat next, my story and my favorite topic, Justin.
Home again, home again, jiggety-jig.
To market, to market, to buy a fat hog,
Home again, home again, jiggety-jog.
To market, to market, to buy a plum bun,
Home again, home again, market is done.
We have started the task of (at least window) shopping for all the things we'll need to have in our new place. We still need to find a place, and once we do we'll have all the main things like furniture and appliances from the army. But the other things, mostly bedding, towels, plates and pots & pans we have to get ourselves.
It's going to be kind of fun, but I for one, have to be careful not to go overboard on nesting in a place we're only going to be for a year. So that means getting only what we really need. And thinking of what we have at home at the same time.
The task is made a little more complicated by the fact that Justin and I also have a sense of style that might not be met by the limited army post shopping... to town? Maybe, but anywhere we go is sure to over charge us since we're Americans and made of money.
I wold turn to online shopping, but so many places don't deliver to APO addresses. So my plan of ordering online, having it sent to my parents and having them send the stuff to me here is in place. But, at that point we've paid probably twice what our dishes, or whatever, are worth and it seem silly not to just use what's nearby.
Silly problem, I know. But it's one that I think about in between what to eat next, my story and my favorite topic, Justin.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Lunar New Year
There are still Christmas decorations up in town. You know what? I'm glad Americans take down that stuff pretty fast, it starts to look very old and ratty if the whole town is like that going into February. I was also wished a Happy New Year day before yesterday... I was confused too, but the Lunar New year is apparently THE new year over here. And it's the biggest holiday of the year. Too bad it's one of those family oriented ones where everyone goes home to eat with their loved ones. No parade? fine :(
The weather here is "warm" right now, so it's been in the 40's during the day and only dipping to the 20's at night. There was snow on the ground when I arrived and it was very cold-be-sure-you've-got-on-long-underwear. But the snow has mostly melted and it's just regular cold. It's supposed to get colder and snow again next week. It's tolerable. Being in Cali was good training, both for the cold and the early night fall. I've got a good jacket and so far it hasn't been too bad.
I have heard it's crazy in the US, snowing everywhere, but I haven't seen many pictures, I want to know how much it actually snowed in SA!
I haven't had any local food yet, lol, thank god for army bases. There is basically a food court very similar to a mall food court that everyone eats at, it's pretty good. There's also some nicer places to eat in the lobby of this giant hotel on base. I haven't found the giant Starbucks that is supposedly in Seoul, but I have found two on base so far. My new favorite is the white hot chocolate. I don't even want to know how many calories that has.
I'm making some goals as I go along, so far I've got two.
1) don't get fat eating comfort food
2) get out on the weekends and explore
I've been staying with Justin's co-worker and co-worker's wife, Wayne and Ceci. They are both really nice, very friendly and they cook. Not too pushy about 'what are you doing' 'where are you going'. The place is nice too, marble floors and the nicest bathroom I've seen in years. But it still feels weird to be a guest, it's just something I'm not very comfortable with. And I Do feel like I have to socialize if I'm not in my room, so I just stay there a lot. yay me and my social skills.
Justin and I are in the process of finding, getting approved, and moving into an apartment. Probably not far from where I am now (a couple of blocks from base), but it's probably going to be another week or two.
Things are better and the same after a week in Korea. I know what to expect more from every day, but it still feels like a very big strange city that is part dream and part fake movie set. Justin is going to take off work more since I'm here and we're going to travel some. That is going to make a difference, I do like to travel and see different things, but I always like to go home at the end of the trip.
The weather here is "warm" right now, so it's been in the 40's during the day and only dipping to the 20's at night. There was snow on the ground when I arrived and it was very cold-be-sure-you've-got-on-long-underwear. But the snow has mostly melted and it's just regular cold. It's supposed to get colder and snow again next week. It's tolerable. Being in Cali was good training, both for the cold and the early night fall. I've got a good jacket and so far it hasn't been too bad.
I have heard it's crazy in the US, snowing everywhere, but I haven't seen many pictures, I want to know how much it actually snowed in SA!
I haven't had any local food yet, lol, thank god for army bases. There is basically a food court very similar to a mall food court that everyone eats at, it's pretty good. There's also some nicer places to eat in the lobby of this giant hotel on base. I haven't found the giant Starbucks that is supposedly in Seoul, but I have found two on base so far. My new favorite is the white hot chocolate. I don't even want to know how many calories that has.
I'm making some goals as I go along, so far I've got two.
1) don't get fat eating comfort food
2) get out on the weekends and explore
I've been staying with Justin's co-worker and co-worker's wife, Wayne and Ceci. They are both really nice, very friendly and they cook. Not too pushy about 'what are you doing' 'where are you going'. The place is nice too, marble floors and the nicest bathroom I've seen in years. But it still feels weird to be a guest, it's just something I'm not very comfortable with. And I Do feel like I have to socialize if I'm not in my room, so I just stay there a lot. yay me and my social skills.
Justin and I are in the process of finding, getting approved, and moving into an apartment. Probably not far from where I am now (a couple of blocks from base), but it's probably going to be another week or two.
Things are better and the same after a week in Korea. I know what to expect more from every day, but it still feels like a very big strange city that is part dream and part fake movie set. Justin is going to take off work more since I'm here and we're going to travel some. That is going to make a difference, I do like to travel and see different things, but I always like to go home at the end of the trip.
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