What are your clothes saying about you?
And TO you.
One of my downfalls in clothes shopping is if I touch something and it’s soft. Like, really really soft. I then HAVE TO buy it. No questions asked. It is even a reasonable explanation for those who know me.
“Lucy, why did you buy that shirt/blanket/hat?”
“It was soft”
Given the choice I’ve always dressed in clothes that made me feel the most comfortable, either because they fit wonderfully or because they are soft and cozy.
I remember, long ago, at our Church confirmation class, the Sunday they confirmed us all- the girls had to wear white dresses. I don’t remember where I got mine, but it was a hand-me-down I think, and I had to wear the only white shoes I had, which I didn’t like. So I was uncomfortable, and you could See it. Wow. Besides looking at old pictures and me being able to tell, there was some friend of my parents and they said something to my mom as I stood there. She said, “you don’t really like dresses do you”. I looked so uncomfortable that anyone could tell. And it wasn’t that I didn’t like dresses, but I didn’t like This dress and shoe combination on this day.
My point is, I Know that people can tell things about what you wear (or how you react to what you are wearing). Something I hadn’t thought about before, not really, was How your clothes make YOU feel.
I read an article on some random website that Facebook offered to me, “What your clothes day about you”
(http://www.youbeauty.com/body-fitness/what-your-clothes-say-about-you), and I wouldn’t be suggesting it at all but they had a clinical psychologist that was making a lot of sense. Below is an excerpt from the article.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner literally wrote the book on this phenomenon, which she calls the “psychology of dress.” In “You Are What You Wear: What Your Clothes Reveal About You,”. Americans rely on clothing as an economic and social indicator because there aren’t official marks of rank such as a caste system or aristocracy, says Dr. Baumgartner. “When you don’t have a specific system, people come up with their own,” she explains. It’s what “helps you figure out where you fit in”
(AND from the same article, what clothes say TO you.)
A study this year from Northwestern University examined a concept called “enclothed cognition.” Researchers define it in their report as “the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer’s psychological processes,” meaning what your clothes are saying to you, not about you. And how they make you feel.
The researchers distributed standard white lab coats to participants, telling some that it was a doctor’s coat and some that it was a painter’s smock. All participants performed the same task, but those wearing the “doctor’s coat” were more careful and attentive. Their actions were influenced by their clothing.
Enclothed cognition gives scientific proof to the idea that you should dress not how you feel, but how you Want to feel. Which clothes make you feel powerful? Sexy? In control? Wealthy? The clothes you choose are sending a message to those around you, but also to you, yourself.
[end excerpts]. They also had a fun little chart with an “If you [blank]”, “You might [blank]” ,“Consider [blank]”. Mine was obvious, it was; “If you keep every piece of clothing you’ve ever owned (exaggerated but basically true), you might be clinging to the past through the sentimental value of your pieces [of clothes] (no duh). Consider Adopting the Golden Wardrobe Ratio: Get rid of 2 out of 3 items you own, including anything too big/small, ripped/torn or outdated.” I don’t think I have things that are too big/small or ripped/torn, but maybe some outdated things. After this Golden Wardrobe Ration cleansing, I’m assuming you maintain it with a one in- one out policy?
So all signs are pointing in the same direction, besides cutting back on my spending (splurging) I also need to cut back on what is already clogging up my closet and drawers.
Reprised: Step one, collect underpants. Step two… Step Three, big profit! (OMG I say this all the time and this time, it actually applies!)
No really, Step one is to consolidate and count everything by type.
Step two is to get rid of 2 out of 3 items, until I’m at a reasonable level.
And step three is to keep the ratio in check with a one in- one out policy that will hopefully also curb the spending.
In the mean time, I’m still going to get to the bottom of my materialistic drive. Justin suggested a book, that he just finished from a class, called Blur. It’s something about journalistic skewed news, but I think he has a point in that once I know what to look out for in persuasive language and gimmicks I will recognize them in advertising and be less susceptible.
One last thing from Dr. Baumgartner “Shopping and spending behaviors often come from internal motivations such as emotions, experiences and culture,”. As I already know, I shop to feel good, but that is a problem for another day.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
non-shopping update
I might have pushed myself too soon. You see what had happened was, I was running errands for my boss near the outdoor mall (which is my downfall). I had been looking at OldNavy online the night before and really wanted a pair of cute shorts, but I had too much other stuff in my virtual shopping basket that I was having trouble convincing myself that I didn't need. So, MY thought was this: If I go in person and buy the one thing (the cute shorts) then I won't pay for shipping and I'll only get that one thing.
Maybe you are the type of person who can go into a store and buy ONE thing, but alas, I am not. So two hours later I had a huge pile of clothes, I just wanted to go home, but I didn't want to leave my hard fought shopping. So I just bought everything with the vague idea that I would return things later.
Oh, My god. Yes I had to return things later. Even when I go crazy and buy a lot of things I usually seem to spend the same amount every time. This was Three Times the amount I usually spend. I'll admit I have been feeling extra stressed out this week. I wasn't even sure I could drag myself out of bed and go to work all five days this week, I just wanted to sleep and read (but I did go!).
My point is, I am still not allowed to go shopping alone (or into/near a place of shopping alone). I pushed my luck and it didn't pan out. So Justin was very sweet about the whole thing. He even looked at everything I bought and helped me pair down to a few things to keep. (Indeed he could have told me to take everything back, but that wouldn't have been very helpful, not when this is emotional shopping). So we went today and took things back. I even wanted to return more when I saw how much I had still spent after the returns. Se la vie.
Maybe you are the type of person who can go into a store and buy ONE thing, but alas, I am not. So two hours later I had a huge pile of clothes, I just wanted to go home, but I didn't want to leave my hard fought shopping. So I just bought everything with the vague idea that I would return things later.
Oh, My god. Yes I had to return things later. Even when I go crazy and buy a lot of things I usually seem to spend the same amount every time. This was Three Times the amount I usually spend. I'll admit I have been feeling extra stressed out this week. I wasn't even sure I could drag myself out of bed and go to work all five days this week, I just wanted to sleep and read (but I did go!).
My point is, I am still not allowed to go shopping alone (or into/near a place of shopping alone). I pushed my luck and it didn't pan out. So Justin was very sweet about the whole thing. He even looked at everything I bought and helped me pair down to a few things to keep. (Indeed he could have told me to take everything back, but that wouldn't have been very helpful, not when this is emotional shopping). So we went today and took things back. I even wanted to return more when I saw how much I had still spent after the returns. Se la vie.
How Colors Affect Your Spending
As I examine my addiction to shopping and the materialisticness of our culture, I’m finding interesting things about the media and advertising.
In the March 2013 issue of RealSimple Magazine, they had a one page blurb thing on ‘How color affects your spending”. They had a list of 12 people slated as experts in various fields, so I think it’s pretty legit.
I’ll break it down a little, their explanations are more extensive but you can read their article if you want that.
BLack: Makes anything seem more expensive, upscale, sophisticated. Especially used in makeup industry.
Blue: connotes trust and dependability, used especially in banks and finance business. It also improves customer loyalty by 15% (hence why I constantly spend money at OldNavy?).
Burgundy: rich and refined (like red wine), so thing in this color tend to be more expensive. Brown (as in chocolate) also has commutations with luxury.
Green: All they could come up with for green was that it’s over used to mean “eco friendly”. But to be careful because sometimes it just ain’t so.
Orange: is apparently associated with fairness and affordability, stores such as Home Depot and Payless use it. But I thought they used it as the prison color because prisoners couldn’t stand it.
Pink: (in the shade closest to bubblegum) has calming effects. Seeing pink slows people’s endocrine systems and tranquilizes tense muscles… their thought is that you will feel less pain when the money is separated from your wallet. (cough*victoriassecret*cough) I guess it must be true.
Red: Experts warn shops that, like a stop sign, this color can make consumers hit the breaks (on spending). In nature this color is used as a warning, so in stores we are more careful with spending.
Violet: This royal hue makes people think of, well, royalty. So it makes you feel like what you are spending is worth the costly price.
White: Suggests simplicity and purity (75% of top skin-care brands are packaged in white) and it also stands for modernity and honesty, which is probably why iApple is addicted to the non color.
Yellow: Evokes energy and increased appetite, which is what makes it a popular choice with fast-food restaurants.
Applying this to me seems accurate, I shop the most at OldNavy (blue and white) and Victorias Secret brand Pink (pink on pink). So that means I buy from places that have a perceived loyalty and simplicity, and that make me relax and feel less pain.
In the March 2013 issue of RealSimple Magazine, they had a one page blurb thing on ‘How color affects your spending”. They had a list of 12 people slated as experts in various fields, so I think it’s pretty legit.
I’ll break it down a little, their explanations are more extensive but you can read their article if you want that.
BLack: Makes anything seem more expensive, upscale, sophisticated. Especially used in makeup industry.
Blue: connotes trust and dependability, used especially in banks and finance business. It also improves customer loyalty by 15% (hence why I constantly spend money at OldNavy?).
Burgundy: rich and refined (like red wine), so thing in this color tend to be more expensive. Brown (as in chocolate) also has commutations with luxury.
Green: All they could come up with for green was that it’s over used to mean “eco friendly”. But to be careful because sometimes it just ain’t so.
Orange: is apparently associated with fairness and affordability, stores such as Home Depot and Payless use it. But I thought they used it as the prison color because prisoners couldn’t stand it.
Pink: (in the shade closest to bubblegum) has calming effects. Seeing pink slows people’s endocrine systems and tranquilizes tense muscles… their thought is that you will feel less pain when the money is separated from your wallet. (cough*victoriassecret*cough) I guess it must be true.
Red: Experts warn shops that, like a stop sign, this color can make consumers hit the breaks (on spending). In nature this color is used as a warning, so in stores we are more careful with spending.
Violet: This royal hue makes people think of, well, royalty. So it makes you feel like what you are spending is worth the costly price.
White: Suggests simplicity and purity (75% of top skin-care brands are packaged in white) and it also stands for modernity and honesty, which is probably why iApple is addicted to the non color.
Yellow: Evokes energy and increased appetite, which is what makes it a popular choice with fast-food restaurants.
Applying this to me seems accurate, I shop the most at OldNavy (blue and white) and Victorias Secret brand Pink (pink on pink). So that means I buy from places that have a perceived loyalty and simplicity, and that make me relax and feel less pain.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Non-shopping updates: Skip the Guilt
I have successfully unsubscribed from almost every email that wants me to buy things. And I've finished looking at all the catalogs I Have gotten in the mail and recycled them.
I had this idea that if I pulled out the pictures of what I wanted from the catalogs, and just put it away for a little while that I would forget about it and stop wanting it. It's more like, now I had a drawer full of pictures of things that I wanted and knew I wasn't getting. What did I do? Online shopping naturally. BUT, but, I'm at least a little pleased with myself because I didn't go crazy and buy too much stuff, I just bought the few things that I had pulled out of the catalog. So it's not perfect, and it's my first backslide on a long road out of being addicted to materialistic things, but I'm still okay with it.
A long time ago I had decided to stop giving myself a hard time when I messed up on something. If I didn't study hard enough and got a lower grade than I wanted, I would try not to be upset, I would use it as a reminder to study harder but I'd try and skip the guilt. Or another big thing in my life is running late to every and any thing, sometime in high school I stopped rushing (since I was late anyway) and would not give myself a hard time. Skip the guilt, was my new mantra. The same applied to shopping when in college I had my own debit card and a job. Well, that debit card got over-drawn like every other weekend when I'd get paid and go shopping. I would say to myself, don't do that again! and then try and enjoy the things I had blown my money on. After all if part of the benefits to buying things (it's scientifically proven, there are benefits!) is the happy rush of yes-I -bought-something-awesome, why kill that high? That was my theory.
It's still my theory to a point. There is no reason to be too hard on yourself, it's really not healthy. But you have to acknowledge that it's something you want to change and find a way to do that, but please, skip the guilt!
P.S. my next step I'm going to attempt is to count ALL my clothes (shoes too). Wish me luck!
I had this idea that if I pulled out the pictures of what I wanted from the catalogs, and just put it away for a little while that I would forget about it and stop wanting it. It's more like, now I had a drawer full of pictures of things that I wanted and knew I wasn't getting. What did I do? Online shopping naturally. BUT, but, I'm at least a little pleased with myself because I didn't go crazy and buy too much stuff, I just bought the few things that I had pulled out of the catalog. So it's not perfect, and it's my first backslide on a long road out of being addicted to materialistic things, but I'm still okay with it.
A long time ago I had decided to stop giving myself a hard time when I messed up on something. If I didn't study hard enough and got a lower grade than I wanted, I would try not to be upset, I would use it as a reminder to study harder but I'd try and skip the guilt. Or another big thing in my life is running late to every and any thing, sometime in high school I stopped rushing (since I was late anyway) and would not give myself a hard time. Skip the guilt, was my new mantra. The same applied to shopping when in college I had my own debit card and a job. Well, that debit card got over-drawn like every other weekend when I'd get paid and go shopping. I would say to myself, don't do that again! and then try and enjoy the things I had blown my money on. After all if part of the benefits to buying things (it's scientifically proven, there are benefits!) is the happy rush of yes-I -bought-something-awesome, why kill that high? That was my theory.
It's still my theory to a point. There is no reason to be too hard on yourself, it's really not healthy. But you have to acknowledge that it's something you want to change and find a way to do that, but please, skip the guilt!
P.S. my next step I'm going to attempt is to count ALL my clothes (shoes too). Wish me luck!
Day Three- the non-shopping list
On blue days, or any time I’m feeling down My first impulse is to go shopping. Either it gets me out of the house and into a different world of retail, or if I shop online it’s a distraction and I still get the dopamine hit of buying things without going anywhere. Something about new clothes or a new cute something always puts a smile on my face.
I thought a way to deter me from buying more clothes would be to have a tally of each type of clothes that I currently have. The sheer numbers might guilt me into not buying anything, and my anterior motive is to also pair down to something resembling “the basics” and/or one closet.
Also, it's amazing what else needs money in my life besides my shopping habit. So far the car needed a new headlight, and then they broke it a lot and it needed a new undercarriage scrape plate thing that is NOT free. And our camera which has been gone for 6 weeks to get it's flash replaced finally came back to us- but then ALL THE BUTTONS ON THE CAMERA DIDN'T WORK. Thanks Nikon. That went back to the camera shop today to be sent off again. And the cat's micro chipping profiles on HomeAgain needed to be created then paid for. Not did creating the profiles take ALL MORNING to fill out. They kept messing things up and I have to print things to send to them in paper form? Who has a website where you can't submit the forms in digital form. Also our printer is out of ink, we ordered more ($ are you keeping a tally?) but it isn't here yet. So I had to take my laptop into my Dad's office, with paper and plug my computer into his printer.
It just takes time, every little thing takes time. And don't get me started on meals- those take SO much freaking time to cook and then eat!?! It just makes me not want to eat at all. but then I get hungry and grumpy and then Justin has to make me food before I give in to the dark side, go online shopping and take a nap.
I thought a way to deter me from buying more clothes would be to have a tally of each type of clothes that I currently have. The sheer numbers might guilt me into not buying anything, and my anterior motive is to also pair down to something resembling “the basics” and/or one closet.
Also, it's amazing what else needs money in my life besides my shopping habit. So far the car needed a new headlight, and then they broke it a lot and it needed a new undercarriage scrape plate thing that is NOT free. And our camera which has been gone for 6 weeks to get it's flash replaced finally came back to us- but then ALL THE BUTTONS ON THE CAMERA DIDN'T WORK. Thanks Nikon. That went back to the camera shop today to be sent off again. And the cat's micro chipping profiles on HomeAgain needed to be created then paid for. Not did creating the profiles take ALL MORNING to fill out. They kept messing things up and I have to print things to send to them in paper form? Who has a website where you can't submit the forms in digital form. Also our printer is out of ink, we ordered more ($ are you keeping a tally?) but it isn't here yet. So I had to take my laptop into my Dad's office, with paper and plug my computer into his printer.
It just takes time, every little thing takes time. And don't get me started on meals- those take SO much freaking time to cook and then eat!?! It just makes me not want to eat at all. but then I get hungry and grumpy and then Justin has to make me food before I give in to the dark side, go online shopping and take a nap.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Day Two- Unsubscribing
My first goal was to stop spending money on anything besides bills and food.
My second goal was to unsubscribe from shoppy emails (you know, the ones that tell you they have a sale or you could save 20%! as if that’s anything, but it gets me every time).
I don’t really know how to unsubscribe from emails unless I get one first. Then it’s easy, you just follow the link at the very bottom (in the tiniest print ever).
The emails that I have gotten in the past week which I’m unsubscribing to so far, are:
IKEA,
Threadless (they make awesome t-shirts),
OldNavy (who had at least 4 pop-up adds offing 15% off as I was trying to unsubscribe),
Proactive (they send more email and mail asking me to come back than a needy ex-girlfriend),
James Avery,
ThinkGeek (that one was hard, as I was scrolling down the email trying to find the unsubscribe button I clicked on like 5 things).
And southwest airlines, not because I’m tempted by anything but because they send so. many. emails.
***
I’ve been staring at my online shopping cart from ThinkGeek for almost an hour. I just Love their stuff. THIS right here is my problem. I know I don’t need these things, but they are cute, or funny, or cool. UGH! I need to stand firm. I already caved today and bought like 5 mugs from the starbucks that is inside our grocery store. *sigh*
***
I closed the ThinkGeek window, shopping cart full, With-Out buying anything. Yay me.
My second goal was to unsubscribe from shoppy emails (you know, the ones that tell you they have a sale or you could save 20%! as if that’s anything, but it gets me every time).
I don’t really know how to unsubscribe from emails unless I get one first. Then it’s easy, you just follow the link at the very bottom (in the tiniest print ever).
The emails that I have gotten in the past week which I’m unsubscribing to so far, are:
IKEA,
Threadless (they make awesome t-shirts),
OldNavy (who had at least 4 pop-up adds offing 15% off as I was trying to unsubscribe),
Proactive (they send more email and mail asking me to come back than a needy ex-girlfriend),
James Avery,
ThinkGeek (that one was hard, as I was scrolling down the email trying to find the unsubscribe button I clicked on like 5 things).
And southwest airlines, not because I’m tempted by anything but because they send so. many. emails.
***
I’ve been staring at my online shopping cart from ThinkGeek for almost an hour. I just Love their stuff. THIS right here is my problem. I know I don’t need these things, but they are cute, or funny, or cool. UGH! I need to stand firm. I already caved today and bought like 5 mugs from the starbucks that is inside our grocery store. *sigh*
***
I closed the ThinkGeek window, shopping cart full, With-Out buying anything. Yay me.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Day One- Escaping the Machine
Hi, my name is Lucy, and I’m a shopaholic. All joking aside I Do have a bit of a shopping problem and it’s something I’d like to fix. So starting Right Now for no other reason than today is a good day to start, I begin my journey.
Let me begin with telling you that I’m not as bad as you might be thinking. I saw that movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic, well actually I only saw half of it. But I remember one scene where the main character is trying to buy something by putting a small amount on each of her numerous credit cards that are already maxed out- thankfully, that is not my problem. I just go a little over board, usually shopping for clothes and usually online and I spend more money than I want to. Besides the fact that I’m spending money I’d rather do something else with, I don’t Need any more clothes. I have SO many clothes, but somehow I can always find something new to want.
So my problem is really two-fold, 1) I’m spending money on clothes (and random things) that I don’t really want to be buying. And 2) I already have more than enough, yet I keep accumulating more. I want to put an end to the drain on my wallet and an end to the materialism that is so addictive.
So step one is to stop spending money on these things. Period. Yes, I’m going to still buy food and pay bills and those things, but no more clothes, shoes, nick-knacks, what-nots or whatever. Two is to unsubscribe from all the emails and catalogs that feed the materialistic machine. And for now, step three is to not be alone in stores that sell those things I’m forbidding myself to buy.
Let me begin with telling you that I’m not as bad as you might be thinking. I saw that movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic, well actually I only saw half of it. But I remember one scene where the main character is trying to buy something by putting a small amount on each of her numerous credit cards that are already maxed out- thankfully, that is not my problem. I just go a little over board, usually shopping for clothes and usually online and I spend more money than I want to. Besides the fact that I’m spending money I’d rather do something else with, I don’t Need any more clothes. I have SO many clothes, but somehow I can always find something new to want.
So my problem is really two-fold, 1) I’m spending money on clothes (and random things) that I don’t really want to be buying. And 2) I already have more than enough, yet I keep accumulating more. I want to put an end to the drain on my wallet and an end to the materialism that is so addictive.
So step one is to stop spending money on these things. Period. Yes, I’m going to still buy food and pay bills and those things, but no more clothes, shoes, nick-knacks, what-nots or whatever. Two is to unsubscribe from all the emails and catalogs that feed the materialistic machine. And for now, step three is to not be alone in stores that sell those things I’m forbidding myself to buy.
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