You know what you should do?

One of the best parts (she said sarcastically) about being unemployed is well meaning people telling me what jobs I should look for. Somehow it always starts the same;

Well meaning person, “So Lucy, what are you doing these days?”.
Me, “Well actually I’m unemployed, but I’ve been doing a lot of…”.
Well meaning person interrupts, “You know what you should do?!”.
Me, with fake excited sparkle in my smile, “What’s that?”.

And they go on to tell me something that is kind of unhelpful but telling me with such conviction that I actually consider it for a day. Some of the most recent ones have been;
~ College tutor (since I’m good at English and stuff),
~ Vet tech (since I like animals),
~ Nanny (since I babysit sometimes? I don’t know, people just assume I like children, and I do, but still),
~ Teacher (since I’m good at English AND I babysit)
~ Onsite elderly re-locator (apparently this is a real thing)
~ Party planner (since I'm organized and detail oriented)
~ Research assistant (since we live close to a big university, and trust me I’ve tried to get this one, but I’m just not qualified),
~ Personal organizer (this one I agree with, but I don’t want to work for myself and have to find my own clients, but I have done some organizing jobs for family friends).

My mom still thinks I should go back to school and get a tech degree so I can be an ultrasound technician, (this isn’t a bad idea, but I feel like I should be able to find a job with the degree I already have).

And really what I think I’d like to do is editing, of almost any kind. But all the ads want me to not only be an expert in the English language but also be able to edit web pages and nonsense like that. Or be an editor and a journalist. Editing is a job by its self, but I guess it doesn’t hold enough value on its own.

And if I’m being really honest with myself, I would like to write. But I would want to write my stories, not whatever was needed for this issue of Whatever Monthly. I’m really not great under pressure- which is why I’m not a journalist (!).

I have real support from the few people that truly matter to me, they want me to be happy and write and be successful. Sometimes that in its self is too much pressure.

But if I have to work, I don’t want to work for myself, find my own clients and figure out how much money I have to withhold for taxes. I don’t want to drive to a new place every day, getting lost just when the GPS decides it can’t talk to enough satellites. I don’t want to work at a place where I don’t use my brain, like retail, and end up going crazy and quitting after a few weeks. I just want to work at a place where I can show up, do work I don’t hate and go home at the end of the day having made money. Apparently that’s too much to ask for from a job.

Where are those jobs they always show on ads? The boring, monochromatic offices with cubicles where all you have to do is show up and do boring repetitive busy work from Nine-to-Five. Where your biggest problem is deciding what fast-food to eat for lunch or getting your fingers super glued to your phone so your office mates can steal your candy bar.