Maybe I’m just a child at heart, but some of my favorite holidays are traditionally “kid holidays” (if that’s even a thing). I love dressing up in costumes and eating (too much) candy for Halloween. I love decorating for Christmas and picking out gifts to give to my friends and family. I love hunting for Easter eggs (and yes, getting an Easter basket) and having our big get-together with loved ones for a paella (a Spanish rice dish). But one of my favorite things is my birthday. Maybe because it’s in August and not much happens holiday-wise before or after that. I love making a cake and decorating it. And having an excuse to buy things for myself.
My Mom has always gone all out for holidays and parties. I’m not saying we had a lot of money, we didn’t, but she would plan and decorate and have fun things for my brother or my guests to do. I think a lot of it was Mom trying to make it up to us that we lived so far away from any of our family. The only family that visited us consistently were my grandparents, I would love it when they would come stay with us. It made it feel more like home, our four person family suddenly felt complete with six people and even dinner felt like a special occasion.
The other thing was my brother and I never had tons of friends. We had a few close friends, and some friends from clubs and soccer teams, but not the big circle of friends I assume everyone else had- so birthdays have always been a little more family oriented.
Which leads me to right now. It’s August, I’m turning 28 and I’m trying to plan my birthday party. I still have a few close friends from my hometown and college years, but they are spread across the country. I came up with a brilliant plan, and I’m having an online birthday party with them. *keeping my fingers crossed my bandwidth is good enough*. But what about here? Here, in the real, present time and place.
My new husband and I moved to California to be close to my parents, grandfather, and West coast family. We aren’t the most extroverted people and have only met a few people since we moved here. Before that we lived overseas in South Korea (where we also only had two sets of close couple friends). And before that, I didn’t even know my husband and was mostly hanging out with my good friend Allie, and guys who were trying to date me. And before that I did have a full and fun circle of friends, but I lost them all in my divorce because my ex husband is a lying, cheating, emotionally manipulative person. Before that was college, where I gained two close friends. And before that was High School and all the friends and drama that come with it.
When Holidays happen, you don’t have to know anyone really. There is hustle and bustle, and consumer based marketing telling you that THIS HOLIDAY IS NOW, and maybe even holiday themed movies being shown on TV. But Birthdays are special, and personal, and the only people making a big deal out of them are you and the people who know and love you. Maybe that’s why they are harder to have without other people involved.
I hope I don’t sound pathetic. I don’t Feel pathetic. I just want to share my birthday cake with friends, I haven’t met yet, so I don’t eat all of the cake by myself...for breakfast.
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