If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all or make a remark about the weather. Either one might have been a good option.
I have been making an effort to socialize more. Really all I have to do is say ‘Yes’ to my new neighbor friend when she invites me places. So last night she had a cute little party, just of 20-somethings who live in our neighborhood. It was great, we had sangria and delicious cheese and other tidbits, and we were all geeking out over books and movies.
But then, it happened, I realized that this guy, who I had thought to be very interesting and I’d gotten super excited over because maybe HE could be friends with my husband, this guy had not stopped talking since I could remember. He had been in the kitchen when I arrived and from the moment he was introduced to a few hours later, I could barely remember anyone else talking.
I’m a little on the quiet side, and I can get easily overwhelmed by a nonstop talker, but this was even past that. No one else had said anything beyond sounds of ‘hmm’ or ‘ahh’ for at least an hour. It was a nice cozy group of five people around one table so there was no escape, and no room for a sidebar conversation.
This person whom I had thought to be an interesting conversationalist before, now was making my brain hurt. I turned it off. I sat and stared at him, vaguely aware that everyone else was simply staring at him too. Where they impressed? Intrigued? Did they want him to keep talking? Did they wish he would let someone else talk? Should I say something, butt in to try and rescue us all?
Maybe the reason I don’t do well in large groups is it’s too hard to read their collective desires. I can usually get what someone wants in a one-on-one conversation (while they may be harder to pull off due to their singular nature). But I really couldn’t tell this time, and this wasn’t a huge group. It was three other people, plus me and the talker. I knew the talker wanted to keep talking. I knew I wanted him to stop. But what did they want?
I’m still not sure. The party broke up around then, it was getting late and about half of us had to work in the morning. Then I, because of drink or tiredness, did say something to him. I wish I could remember my exact phrasing but it came out as something like “Don’t take offense at me telling you that you talk too much…because you do”. Eloquent, no? I then beat a hasty retreat and hoped I would still be invited to neighborhood dinner parties.
